i feel like i'm still five
clinging onto familiarity
afraid to step out into reality
afriad to step out alone.
each time something goes wrong
i jerk backwards into yesterday
the frequent the jerks,
the more trapped i become.
only to try again after much coaxing and reassurance.
i am just a plain girl who thinks she's another.
i'll hold my head up and pretend
just like you, and everyone else
i am just another.
looking for a place to belong.
frightened by every loud noise
hiding in every corner of my childhood
finding comfort in every sorrow
in search of the perfect friend who never will leave my side.
i am trapped in fear.

and i have to learn to rise above.